What exactly is a Chimichonga?
Dear Mike,
Timing is everything and ours just sucks! We tried. Or at least I did. No one can really deny that. Unfortunately neither of us is or was in the right place for a relationship to work. You are a wonderful guy with a great heart. That damned alcohol is a great mask though. We both used each other as an escape and we were successful. Then reality hits and life happens. Things have to be dealt with. Once those intrusions took place there was no room left for “US” in each others lives. My shit. Your shit. There was never any of Our shit. Seeing you with her broke my heart last night. Which is a good thing because it is what I needed to give up hope and decide to really move on. You have been out with others. I have been out with others. Mine never had a chance with you so in my head. Now they will. Now I can look at “others” and know that you aren’t coming back. The new and improved you that we talked about. The one would could handle someone like me in his life without bailing when it became work. We both agreed that I deserved better. It just took me by surprise seeing you out with her. Someone I have known longer than I have known you. Just a day after you whispered in my ear that you loved me. What could I say? Nothing. We weren’t and aren’t together. You can do whatever with whomever you please. I told Bill and Lydia I should go home. Oh how I wish I had. Then I would still have hope that you would call and tell me you were ready to really try. That these feelings I have won’t go to waste. In the real world, not the fantasy one I have lived in recently, I have begun making plans. For the future. My future. One without you as my partner. The one in which I am left to fend for myself. It really is a beautiful thing. Do you know I have already starting making plans for a fall trip to the city? A couple summer trips to Martha’s Vineyard and just tonight discussed a Montreal excursion for next week. I haven’t done any of those kinds of things since we met, for fear of leaving you behind. I have come to the realization that it was me I was leaving behind. I love the memories I have of you and my hope is that you will still be in my life just on a different level. I enjoy your humor and the “entertainment without commercials” that you offer. However, the man in my life needs to offer me more. I am sure I will find the man that fulfills my needs. Maybe someday you will meet him. I hope you like him as much as I like her. I am not out searching for him. He will just happen. The same way you just happened. To this day meeting you is one of my favorite memories. And then you did give me that one perfect day. This is only good-bye to the lover. I pray it is not good-bye to the friend. Now I have to go and make plans for my future. Right now the more pressing issue is… what the hell am I going to make for dinner tomorrow?
love ya,
Bev
Timing is everything and ours just sucks! We tried. Or at least I did. No one can really deny that. Unfortunately neither of us is or was in the right place for a relationship to work. You are a wonderful guy with a great heart. That damned alcohol is a great mask though. We both used each other as an escape and we were successful. Then reality hits and life happens. Things have to be dealt with. Once those intrusions took place there was no room left for “US” in each others lives. My shit. Your shit. There was never any of Our shit. Seeing you with her broke my heart last night. Which is a good thing because it is what I needed to give up hope and decide to really move on. You have been out with others. I have been out with others. Mine never had a chance with you so in my head. Now they will. Now I can look at “others” and know that you aren’t coming back. The new and improved you that we talked about. The one would could handle someone like me in his life without bailing when it became work. We both agreed that I deserved better. It just took me by surprise seeing you out with her. Someone I have known longer than I have known you. Just a day after you whispered in my ear that you loved me. What could I say? Nothing. We weren’t and aren’t together. You can do whatever with whomever you please. I told Bill and Lydia I should go home. Oh how I wish I had. Then I would still have hope that you would call and tell me you were ready to really try. That these feelings I have won’t go to waste. In the real world, not the fantasy one I have lived in recently, I have begun making plans. For the future. My future. One without you as my partner. The one in which I am left to fend for myself. It really is a beautiful thing. Do you know I have already starting making plans for a fall trip to the city? A couple summer trips to Martha’s Vineyard and just tonight discussed a Montreal excursion for next week. I haven’t done any of those kinds of things since we met, for fear of leaving you behind. I have come to the realization that it was me I was leaving behind. I love the memories I have of you and my hope is that you will still be in my life just on a different level. I enjoy your humor and the “entertainment without commercials” that you offer. However, the man in my life needs to offer me more. I am sure I will find the man that fulfills my needs. Maybe someday you will meet him. I hope you like him as much as I like her. I am not out searching for him. He will just happen. The same way you just happened. To this day meeting you is one of my favorite memories. And then you did give me that one perfect day. This is only good-bye to the lover. I pray it is not good-bye to the friend. Now I have to go and make plans for my future. Right now the more pressing issue is… what the hell am I going to make for dinner tomorrow?
love ya,
Bev
posted by B Kiddo at 11:07 PM
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