The Baseball Psychic
Baseball Season 2004
Just touching. As gently as possible for hours. Never a forbidden place – except for the occasional accidental brush. Well there was that minute or two that I didn’t realize my arm was crossing over his crotch while we were holding hands.Those damn Yankees. They get me in trouble every time. I just wanted out of the house once I arrived from work. I don’t know what made me so antsy. So restless. I had been looking forward to a nice quiet evening at home since I woke up. I entered the house and it seemed unseen forces were directing me to leave. Or maybe it was the forces I could see.. The stack of dishes that my 17 year old and his friends left in their haste to return to the social element in town. Then there were the “smelt” forces. The house reeked of urine terribly from the 15-year-old dog that had developed a bladder problem in the past few months. Or possibly the laundry in need of serious attention. Could have been the vacuuming I had neglected. For whatever reason, the longing to stay home and relax left as soon as I walked through the door. I drove to Mulligan’s. I really hadn’t been hanging out there as much as I used to. When I entered the bar it seemed very loud and busy. I couldn’t see any of the regulars that I was used to meeting when I went there. I wanted to turn around and leave but I had already committed myself to going in once I walked all the way through the double doors. Brook was sitting at the bar sipping his usual red wine. He is a very sweet elderly gentleman who is always looking for the company of a woman. He prefers the young ones. But in this case I would do. I sat next to him. It must have been the cosmos stepping in again. The seat beside Brook was the only one available at the bar. We discussed the weather, his travels from Pennsylvania that day and the terrible cold he could have only contracted while in New Jersey. It wasn’t long before the bartender started talking about the upcoming Yankees Red Sox game. Minutes later HE walked in. I should have known I didn’t have a chance when he came up to me. And then there were those damn cosmic forces at work again. As he and I were discussing how long it had been since we last saw each other the two men sitting next to me paid their tab and left. I am not nervous talking to him. And for years he has entered my mind. We have never been anything more than acquaintances. I had hoped we could but it just never seemed to be in the cards. He and I have had a lot of fun flirting with each other, but we both flirt with everyone so I tried not to read too much into his attention to me. I love getting into conversations with him about anything. He is intelligent, kind and funny. We can make a disagreement fun and we have the some of the same philosophies. The thing that got this acquaintanceship off the ground is the fact that we both are big New York Yankees fans. So we spent the next couple of hours watching the game on the tv at the bar. We didn’t concentrate completely on the game. We talked a lot and flirted more than we ever had. It seemed that others trying to interject in our conversation were irritating him. Being as social as he is I found that odd. But hell if I am getting all the attention who am I to complain? But the flirting was different this time. Still just flirting but had a new ring to it. A more serious tone maybe. Or more realistic innuendo? I don’t know what it was but there was something that changed. We have been playing the flirt and tease game for years. Insinuation, innuendo. All part of the game. This night was just a little different. Less flirtatious. More like a pick up competition. And this night I knew I could actually follow through with my comment to him that I would be right over as he paid his tab and headed home. I said it many times. And always drove home instead of finding out how serious he was. This night was different. I didn’t think twice about it as I pulled out of the restaurant parking lot and headed directly to his house. I pulled into his road. Or at least I thought it was his road. I got confused just as I made the turn. I had only been to his house once before with a few other friends. I turned the car around. When I reached the end of the road I looked up and saw the sign. It was the right road. I turned back around and pulled into his driveway. He was there but the only light was the television. The yard was pitch black. I tried to walk to the door in a graceful way. It was difficult because I couldn’t see anything. What if there was a rake on the lawn and I stepped on it and knocked myself out? Now that would have been true grace in motion! I made it to the door. The main door was open. I knocked on the screen door and called in. He said, “Come on in”. I walked through the kitchen into the living room where I could see he was sitting on the couch. As I got closer I noticed that he appeared to be wearing only a blanket across his lap. I asked him if he greeted all of his guests like that. He said no at least this time he is wearing his boxers. How exactly should I have taken that? I sat next to him and we continued watching the same baseball game we started in the bar. We talked about the players and the season and how neither of us were all that impressed with this years team even though they were in first place. The Red Sox won the game so the conversation turned to my sick optimism when I said no big deal the Yankees would win the next two games. About an hour after my arrival there was a knock on the door. It was one of the waitresses from the bar we had just left. She yelled in are you decent. I don’t remember what he said. I said Hi. Neither of us was rude or could have been understood as wanting to be alone. But she said well I will catch you later and left. She couldn’t see us threw the door. If she had she would have seen that I was fully dressed even with my sneakers still tied. We looked at each other in confusion and said oh well and went back to discussing the game. It actually took a while for it to kick in, that soft almost ticklish sensation on the outside of my thigh. It was his foot. Rubbing so gently against my leg. It was driving me nuts. I didn’t comment on it right away. And honestly I don’t know how the transition happened. I realized shortly after that I was rubbing his leg that was attached to the foot rubbing my leg. We continued this action for some time. Never acknowledging it but never stopping. On the few instances that we were not touching each other we would make sure to correct that situation. It was so sensual. So hard to define. All the things going through my head. All the desires I have hidden for so many years. And now I couldn’t make a move. I was enjoying the connection I was experiencing. We weren’t talking about a relationship or even a date or even throwing his blanket and boxers to the floor and have wild sex for the rest of the night. We were talking about my job, his job, my family, his family, baseball, having kids, dogs, music. Everything but how it came to be that we were sitting there together and where it should go from there. He made a couple comments about me coming back to his house sometime but no actual day or time was discussed. At one point as we watched a Trial on ESPN to determine which curse was real, The Curse of the Bambino or The Chicago Cubs Goat Curse, he began to actually massage my back. And we had a conversation about how I am a sucker for a massage. We discussed getting professional massages as opposed to have a friend rub your back. I told him that what he was doing really felt great. And he told me that he was only using his left hand because he wanted me to come back to experience a two handed massage. And you better believe I will. If I go back for nothing else I will definitely go back for that! We laughed and joked about the fact that we were watching the most ridiculous show. And that everyone knows the Curse of the Bambino is real! And why would we waste our time watching this. How hard up the athletes and actors that appeared as witnesses had to be to be a part of this program. He said he was so glad I was there because no one would believe him when he mentioned this ridiculous show. It was shortly after that we looked at the time. I was almost 4am. Where had the night gone? I thought it was probably 11pm. That is when the handholding started. We just rubbed and discovered each other’s hands. He realized that I am a rather ticklish person and thought that was quite comical. But he never took advantage of that information. A true gentleman. He did laugh at me about it occasionally though. There were a couple of times I thought he would actually pull me to him to kiss me and initiate more than this almost totally innocent touching. But he never did. I know that at any time I could have initiated something myself. I never did though. It was no real dilemma not to move things farther along. Any more than what we were doing would have changed everything. Even a kiss goodnight would have taken it to another place. A place I don’t think either of us was ready for. Or maybe we were. Maybe we were just both too afraid of what might or might not happen. What was I thinking? I have wanted him for so long and here was my opportunity and I couldn’t act on it? I must be nuts! Or maybe just scared to death. After all he is my “Knight of Cups”. I am afraid of loving him but I am also afraid of not loving him. He has been such a part of my thought process regarding love for so long. What if I didn’t love him? What if it really was all just a dance? Changing our relationship right now changes so much in the rest of my life. Some for the better. Some only time will tell. I will go see him again. I will pursue this situation further. I will try not to make any hasty decisions because there is too much riding on this. A heart is a terrible thing to waste!
At 5am I decided to leave. And the Yankees won the next two games against the Red Sox!
Just touching. As gently as possible for hours. Never a forbidden place – except for the occasional accidental brush. Well there was that minute or two that I didn’t realize my arm was crossing over his crotch while we were holding hands.Those damn Yankees. They get me in trouble every time. I just wanted out of the house once I arrived from work. I don’t know what made me so antsy. So restless. I had been looking forward to a nice quiet evening at home since I woke up. I entered the house and it seemed unseen forces were directing me to leave. Or maybe it was the forces I could see.. The stack of dishes that my 17 year old and his friends left in their haste to return to the social element in town. Then there were the “smelt” forces. The house reeked of urine terribly from the 15-year-old dog that had developed a bladder problem in the past few months. Or possibly the laundry in need of serious attention. Could have been the vacuuming I had neglected. For whatever reason, the longing to stay home and relax left as soon as I walked through the door. I drove to Mulligan’s. I really hadn’t been hanging out there as much as I used to. When I entered the bar it seemed very loud and busy. I couldn’t see any of the regulars that I was used to meeting when I went there. I wanted to turn around and leave but I had already committed myself to going in once I walked all the way through the double doors. Brook was sitting at the bar sipping his usual red wine. He is a very sweet elderly gentleman who is always looking for the company of a woman. He prefers the young ones. But in this case I would do. I sat next to him. It must have been the cosmos stepping in again. The seat beside Brook was the only one available at the bar. We discussed the weather, his travels from Pennsylvania that day and the terrible cold he could have only contracted while in New Jersey. It wasn’t long before the bartender started talking about the upcoming Yankees Red Sox game. Minutes later HE walked in. I should have known I didn’t have a chance when he came up to me. And then there were those damn cosmic forces at work again. As he and I were discussing how long it had been since we last saw each other the two men sitting next to me paid their tab and left. I am not nervous talking to him. And for years he has entered my mind. We have never been anything more than acquaintances. I had hoped we could but it just never seemed to be in the cards. He and I have had a lot of fun flirting with each other, but we both flirt with everyone so I tried not to read too much into his attention to me. I love getting into conversations with him about anything. He is intelligent, kind and funny. We can make a disagreement fun and we have the some of the same philosophies. The thing that got this acquaintanceship off the ground is the fact that we both are big New York Yankees fans. So we spent the next couple of hours watching the game on the tv at the bar. We didn’t concentrate completely on the game. We talked a lot and flirted more than we ever had. It seemed that others trying to interject in our conversation were irritating him. Being as social as he is I found that odd. But hell if I am getting all the attention who am I to complain? But the flirting was different this time. Still just flirting but had a new ring to it. A more serious tone maybe. Or more realistic innuendo? I don’t know what it was but there was something that changed. We have been playing the flirt and tease game for years. Insinuation, innuendo. All part of the game. This night was just a little different. Less flirtatious. More like a pick up competition. And this night I knew I could actually follow through with my comment to him that I would be right over as he paid his tab and headed home. I said it many times. And always drove home instead of finding out how serious he was. This night was different. I didn’t think twice about it as I pulled out of the restaurant parking lot and headed directly to his house. I pulled into his road. Or at least I thought it was his road. I got confused just as I made the turn. I had only been to his house once before with a few other friends. I turned the car around. When I reached the end of the road I looked up and saw the sign. It was the right road. I turned back around and pulled into his driveway. He was there but the only light was the television. The yard was pitch black. I tried to walk to the door in a graceful way. It was difficult because I couldn’t see anything. What if there was a rake on the lawn and I stepped on it and knocked myself out? Now that would have been true grace in motion! I made it to the door. The main door was open. I knocked on the screen door and called in. He said, “Come on in”. I walked through the kitchen into the living room where I could see he was sitting on the couch. As I got closer I noticed that he appeared to be wearing only a blanket across his lap. I asked him if he greeted all of his guests like that. He said no at least this time he is wearing his boxers. How exactly should I have taken that? I sat next to him and we continued watching the same baseball game we started in the bar. We talked about the players and the season and how neither of us were all that impressed with this years team even though they were in first place. The Red Sox won the game so the conversation turned to my sick optimism when I said no big deal the Yankees would win the next two games. About an hour after my arrival there was a knock on the door. It was one of the waitresses from the bar we had just left. She yelled in are you decent. I don’t remember what he said. I said Hi. Neither of us was rude or could have been understood as wanting to be alone. But she said well I will catch you later and left. She couldn’t see us threw the door. If she had she would have seen that I was fully dressed even with my sneakers still tied. We looked at each other in confusion and said oh well and went back to discussing the game. It actually took a while for it to kick in, that soft almost ticklish sensation on the outside of my thigh. It was his foot. Rubbing so gently against my leg. It was driving me nuts. I didn’t comment on it right away. And honestly I don’t know how the transition happened. I realized shortly after that I was rubbing his leg that was attached to the foot rubbing my leg. We continued this action for some time. Never acknowledging it but never stopping. On the few instances that we were not touching each other we would make sure to correct that situation. It was so sensual. So hard to define. All the things going through my head. All the desires I have hidden for so many years. And now I couldn’t make a move. I was enjoying the connection I was experiencing. We weren’t talking about a relationship or even a date or even throwing his blanket and boxers to the floor and have wild sex for the rest of the night. We were talking about my job, his job, my family, his family, baseball, having kids, dogs, music. Everything but how it came to be that we were sitting there together and where it should go from there. He made a couple comments about me coming back to his house sometime but no actual day or time was discussed. At one point as we watched a Trial on ESPN to determine which curse was real, The Curse of the Bambino or The Chicago Cubs Goat Curse, he began to actually massage my back. And we had a conversation about how I am a sucker for a massage. We discussed getting professional massages as opposed to have a friend rub your back. I told him that what he was doing really felt great. And he told me that he was only using his left hand because he wanted me to come back to experience a two handed massage. And you better believe I will. If I go back for nothing else I will definitely go back for that! We laughed and joked about the fact that we were watching the most ridiculous show. And that everyone knows the Curse of the Bambino is real! And why would we waste our time watching this. How hard up the athletes and actors that appeared as witnesses had to be to be a part of this program. He said he was so glad I was there because no one would believe him when he mentioned this ridiculous show. It was shortly after that we looked at the time. I was almost 4am. Where had the night gone? I thought it was probably 11pm. That is when the handholding started. We just rubbed and discovered each other’s hands. He realized that I am a rather ticklish person and thought that was quite comical. But he never took advantage of that information. A true gentleman. He did laugh at me about it occasionally though. There were a couple of times I thought he would actually pull me to him to kiss me and initiate more than this almost totally innocent touching. But he never did. I know that at any time I could have initiated something myself. I never did though. It was no real dilemma not to move things farther along. Any more than what we were doing would have changed everything. Even a kiss goodnight would have taken it to another place. A place I don’t think either of us was ready for. Or maybe we were. Maybe we were just both too afraid of what might or might not happen. What was I thinking? I have wanted him for so long and here was my opportunity and I couldn’t act on it? I must be nuts! Or maybe just scared to death. After all he is my “Knight of Cups”. I am afraid of loving him but I am also afraid of not loving him. He has been such a part of my thought process regarding love for so long. What if I didn’t love him? What if it really was all just a dance? Changing our relationship right now changes so much in the rest of my life. Some for the better. Some only time will tell. I will go see him again. I will pursue this situation further. I will try not to make any hasty decisions because there is too much riding on this. A heart is a terrible thing to waste!
At 5am I decided to leave. And the Yankees won the next two games against the Red Sox!
posted by B Kiddo at 9:20 AM
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