A blast from the past
Originally written July 26 2004
Instant messenging is a wonderful thing. Though sometimes it is heartbreaking. Like getting a message from someone you don't want to know that you and your boyfriend (Oh that sounds so lame) may have broken up but you are not sure. But she keeps asking and asking if you guys are going to a party three months from now... WHO PLANS THAT FAR AHEAD? What sick person needs to know what is going to happen next season!!! I am still in reruns right now! So to satisfy her need to annoy me I tell her I will let her know and say I must get back to work. But the instant messenging can also be an up lifting and rewarding thing. Especially when this same boil on the ass of humanity tells you that one of the few things you and your partner have been fighting about is not going to happen no matter how badly he wants it to. Though she wasn't sure. She must find out! I need to know now! She said she would let me know. I want to be there when he drives all the way to that OTHER state for the two day drinking, drugging, sex fest he enjoys so much every year only to find that HE IS ALONE! Yes, I can be hateful! But the way this month has gone it won't be canceled and he will have a great time! DAMN!!! Life Sucks! I suck!
I am angry... nah... I am sad... nah... I am hurt... How about this? I am "D" all of the above. Sometimes individually, sometimes all at once. I feel I am having an emotional meltdown and I will be damned if I am not going to find a way to enjoy it! I wish I knew if it was over between us or if he is thinking a break is in order. I don't want it to be over but I do think I have had enough of playing by his rules. Though even in my dispair I am playing by his rules. Killing myself not to go see him or call him or have any contact with him until he contacts me since he threw me out of his house in a temper tantrum comparable only to the reaction of a three year old being told that he cannot have the MegaSuperCollosus Water Gun. He told me he would "get over it eventually" but he usually takes a long time to get over stuff. What does have to get over anyway? That is why I want to see him so bad. To tell him what a prick he is and to find out if he is done with me for now. If he is I will inform him that in my reality "done with for now" means "Done with forever". With the track record of this totally fucked up relationship I believe I might hear from him in January. I can handle a break from each other. A separation. But not a free for all. Nothing resembling us breaking up and then when he realizes no other woman is crazy enough to have him come back to me. Nope! No Way! Not this time! Though he has never done it in the past. He has initiated these breaks on occasion. In our eight years together he has actually initiated everything. Now that is messed up! Oh well ILOVED anyway!
Plus I learned a couple things today... the biggest I think is that Women who wear white shorts, white socks and white sneakers are willing to pay $25 for their 5 year old daughter to get a hair cut. Now that is INSANE!
Help me! I am emotionally mel--ting!!!!
Instant messenging is a wonderful thing. Though sometimes it is heartbreaking. Like getting a message from someone you don't want to know that you and your boyfriend (Oh that sounds so lame) may have broken up but you are not sure. But she keeps asking and asking if you guys are going to a party three months from now... WHO PLANS THAT FAR AHEAD? What sick person needs to know what is going to happen next season!!! I am still in reruns right now! So to satisfy her need to annoy me I tell her I will let her know and say I must get back to work. But the instant messenging can also be an up lifting and rewarding thing. Especially when this same boil on the ass of humanity tells you that one of the few things you and your partner have been fighting about is not going to happen no matter how badly he wants it to. Though she wasn't sure. She must find out! I need to know now! She said she would let me know. I want to be there when he drives all the way to that OTHER state for the two day drinking, drugging, sex fest he enjoys so much every year only to find that HE IS ALONE! Yes, I can be hateful! But the way this month has gone it won't be canceled and he will have a great time! DAMN!!! Life Sucks! I suck!
I am angry... nah... I am sad... nah... I am hurt... How about this? I am "D" all of the above. Sometimes individually, sometimes all at once. I feel I am having an emotional meltdown and I will be damned if I am not going to find a way to enjoy it! I wish I knew if it was over between us or if he is thinking a break is in order. I don't want it to be over but I do think I have had enough of playing by his rules. Though even in my dispair I am playing by his rules. Killing myself not to go see him or call him or have any contact with him until he contacts me since he threw me out of his house in a temper tantrum comparable only to the reaction of a three year old being told that he cannot have the MegaSuperCollosus Water Gun. He told me he would "get over it eventually" but he usually takes a long time to get over stuff. What does have to get over anyway? That is why I want to see him so bad. To tell him what a prick he is and to find out if he is done with me for now. If he is I will inform him that in my reality "done with for now" means "Done with forever". With the track record of this totally fucked up relationship I believe I might hear from him in January. I can handle a break from each other. A separation. But not a free for all. Nothing resembling us breaking up and then when he realizes no other woman is crazy enough to have him come back to me. Nope! No Way! Not this time! Though he has never done it in the past. He has initiated these breaks on occasion. In our eight years together he has actually initiated everything. Now that is messed up! Oh well ILOVED anyway!
Plus I learned a couple things today... the biggest I think is that Women who wear white shorts, white socks and white sneakers are willing to pay $25 for their 5 year old daughter to get a hair cut. Now that is INSANE!
Help me! I am emotionally mel--ting!!!!
posted by B Kiddo at 8:35 AM
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