Concentration... *CLICK CLICK* Name of... *CLICK CLICK*

I think I want to go to MassMoca this weekend. But I don't want to drive. And I definitely don't want to be alone. I am handling the changes in my life very well according to everyone else. I am not so sure. I haven't cried in over 96 hours. That is a good sign. I think of all the time spent together and all the great things we had done without sadness but with the same regard as when I think about any enjoyable event in my life I shared with a friend. I guess I really am getting over you. Only a matter of days? That seems so short. I always imagined a broken heart should last for a lot longer. I am not complaining. But it makes me wonder... Did I ever really love you? Yes, I believe I did and I do. I still feel that pain in my heart when I think about you. Though it is bearable. I also believe that at this point in my life I am making everything more about me and less about the drama that others have brought to me. Or that I have allowed myself to become a part of. You have brought me drama. I have accepted it. Only I can be faulted for that. I love the notion that I will control my weekends again. That I will make the decisions. Not based on what you want but what I want. It's about me now. You wouldn't like that. You never knew to the extent that I was only a stowaway in our relationship. Along for the ride. I knew it. I beat myself up over it. I allowed it. Too afraid to not have you around. I afraid to be unloved. Too afraid to be alone. Well I am loved and I am alone. I am ok. Besides I will always know...
I LOVED